just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
