I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
