I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
