Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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