i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I know her cup size but not her name....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
