I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish I could teleport
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
