Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
