i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
