Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just googled if crying burns calories
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
