I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
