I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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