All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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