Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
