I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
