hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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