so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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