You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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