dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
