you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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