Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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