She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
