She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
