Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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