we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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