we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
