And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
