and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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