i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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