Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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