So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
