I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
