I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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