Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
