ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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