Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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