Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
