whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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