ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
