I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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