I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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