Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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