Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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