who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
