Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
