Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
