Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
