I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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