It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
