No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
