Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
